First date nerves? We’ve all been there. Panicking about what to wear, where to go, what to talk about, hatching a get out plan if it all goes wrong… it’s no wonder daters find first dates daunting.
Find out your Dating Demon for FREE and start improving your dating success, here: https://datingbehaviours.co.uk/datingdemons/
A first date can feel much like an interview with only a short window of time to make a great first impression. And, in life, we know first impressions count.
So much time and effort has likely gone into getting to the first date stage. Finding a match, reading their profile, making the first move, concocting witty lines and good topics of conversation over messenger. Worrying about what to say, what not to say. On paper, you seem like a good match. It all rests on that first, potentially awkward meeting.
When we’re under pressure, feeling anxious and worried about making a good impression, the natural human response is to over-play certain aspects of our personality. Perhaps you’re anxious about running out of things to say – so fill the silences, not letting your date get a word in edge-ways. Or, maybe you’re so keen to find out if your date really is the one, you forget the small talk and jump straight to the jugular – the big, life questions.
The character your date has just met isn’t a fair reflection of you in everyday life. It’s your #DatingDemon. And your Dating Demon will do their best to de-rail your chances of showing your best-self.
Show the Real You
Managing your Dating Demon isn’t about trying to be someone you’re not, or deceiving your date. It’s about making sure you’re able to show the best aspects of you when meeting someone for the first time. Building self-awareness so you can ensure you keep your Dating Demon in check and allow your date to get to know the real you.
There are 9 different Dating Demons. They were revealed through our Dating Behaviours research, which identified 10 behaviours to be critical to dating success. Being very likely to show some of these behaviours in combination with others is likely to result in one aspect over-dominating the rest of your personality, particularly when you are feeling under pressure.
Meet the Dating Demons…
The Chameleon: The ultimate eager-pleaser, The Chameleon is so desperate to get along with their date they morph into the character they think their date wants them to be.
The Rhino: Thick-skinned and resilient but lacking in self-awareness, prone to bulldozing through without stopping to check their impact on others.
The Detective: Does their research and really wants to make sure the date is a success, but can come across as overly-serious and intense, too soon.
The Explorer: A mesmerising story-teller, fuelled by a multitude of adventures, hobbies and interests, The Explorer can seem like the dream date, until it comes to the follow-up – then they’re likely to disappear.
The Scientist: Has a gift for reading other people, but also loves to experiment, to take risks and see how people react. The problem is this can blow up in their face!
The Blogger: Wears their heart on their sleeve, however, a date can feel like a monologue, with too much being shared, too soon.
The Comedian: A real entertainer, will have you laughing in minutes, but also has a dark-side and can take rejection to heart.
The Professional: Up to speed on the latest dating ‘rules’ and a stickler for protocol and etiquette. Can come across as inflexible, boring or predictable.
The Novelist: On paper, sounds like the perfect match. In person, often lacks confidence and takes a while to warm up.
A Dating Demon in Real Life
Meet Chris. He’s confident, relaxed and easy to get to know. He’s always straight talking and open – you always know where you stand with him or what’s playing on his mind. He’s not so good at reading others though, so you’ll likely have to be open and quite direct with him to ensure you’re always on the same wave-length.
Under pressure on a #FirstDate, Chris’s Dating Demon, The Blogger, is likely to emerge. His openness can turn into over-sharing, and his anxiety over making a good impression, means he talks at length about himself, his thoughts, his life, his decisions…. In fact, anything in his head at that moment in time!
A first date with Chris can feel like a one-way street, and you might quickly find yourself desperately trying to get a word in edgeways to try and make your excuses and leave. Chris’s demon has taken control and all the hard work put into getting to this stage, the things you have in common, and the mutual attraction, is at risk of crumbling away.
However, just by being aware of his Dating Demon, Chris can start to manage it, and ensure his date meets his best self. Chris can keep his demon at bay through doing a few simple things. Starting by sharing a few details and assessing how his date responds. Pausing for breath and keeping an eye on the length of time he spends talking. And, coming prepared with some open questions to ask will help to ensure there’s time for Chris’s date to share what’s important to them, too.
Start Managing your Dating Demon
Use our #DatingDemonsApp to find out your likely Dating Demon. It will provide you with a description of your demon, how you can manage it, and the demons you’re most likely to hit it off with and get frustrated by. Then you can work on making sure your Dating Demon doesn’t get in the way of your date getting to know the real you on a first date.
Download the Dating Demons App in the App and Google Play Store today.
https://datingbehaviours.co.uk/datingdemons/
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